Sarah E. Moffett

Me.

Living in Washington, D.C. means three things. One, your relatives think you are nuts. Two, everyone knows someone. And three, politics. The third component is a bit problematic for me, as I have taken to despising politics after two collegiate summers doing my best not to be the brunt of all Monica Lewinsky related jokes.

Regardless of my evasive efforts, election year means said unpleasantness is inescapable. One is not only stuck with cocktail hour queries, media saturation, sanctified littering via signage, but also a woman shouting “are you an Obama Momma?” to cars as they drove around a DuPont Circle political rally.

Seriously, how does one respond to that?

So I’ve given up on avoiding politics and instead embraced destiny—which in this case means plagiarism. Henceforth, when I am asked to which party do I belong, I will be quoting the good G.K. Chesterton.

“None. ‘The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected.’”

And if one should inquire which candidate I think can cure the world’s wrongs, I’m going with the honest answer, “none of them. McCain, Barack, and Clinton cannot fix what is wrong with the world, because they cannot cure me.*”

Last, but not least, when asked why do I live in Washington, D.C. if I despise politics, I will answer quite honestly, “Because I’m stupid.” (Slight deviation from Chesterton on that one.)

*When The Times invited several eminent authors to write essays on the theme “What’s Wrong with the World?” G.K. Chesterton submitted the following:

Dear Sirs,

I am.

Sincerely yours,
G. K. Chesterton If only we could all be so honest.

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